|
[29 Aug 2006|10:28pm] |
| [ |
mood |
| |
 crazy |
] |
| [ |
music |
| |
Tubthumper - Chumbawumba |
] |
Sorry i've been so lax about updating lately. Work has been absolutely insane. 3 other personal assistants were fired because they were stealing company property. What kind of dumbasses steal reems and reems of office paper and boxes of staplers? Anywho, with them gone I've had to help out another exec as well as help out the new hires.
My laptop randomly stopped working for about 4 days, and then randomly turned on as if nothing had ever happened the last week. Marco has started freshman year and Jess started her Junior year. Hayden has been out of town for the last week and a half. Trey is still having problems writing, and i'm having trouble sleeping. It's all adding up to absolute insanity.
|
|
|
[10 Aug 2006|11:37pm] |
Jess no longer has any reason to covet my fall class schedule, as I no longer have one. I'm no longer a student enrolled at the University of Toronto. My parents, I can only assume, will think that this is a way of getting back at them, when really it has absolutely nothing to do with the grand old mom and pop and everything to do with marco and myself.
I can't stand to see him the way he was after school was pulled right out from under him. It should never be allowed to happen, his dreams getting yanked away.
The original plan for the fall was that I would resign from my position as a personal assistant, and would join in as a paid intern. Since I'd be working a lot fewer hours, as well as it being a lower pay scale anyways, I'd be taking a huge pay cut. One that would give absolutely no room to pay for anything other than my months rotation of the electric or phone bill, gas for my car and my share of the groceries. Since I'm keeping my job, I keep my higher pay, and don't have to shell out cash for lab and studio fees, or for textbooks. I can help Marco pay for college.
In no way possible do I have enough savings to afford for him to go to his choice school, where he was supposed to go. But I can do what I can, and that's to help pay the tuition at any of the several universities or college in the area. I can ride to work with Hayden, and Marco can drive my car to and from the campus, rather than the more costly way of my looping around to pick him up.
If I choose to, I can still go to the school hockey practices I just can no longer participate in games because i'm not an enrolled student. I'll probably join the city league which is less competitive and challenging, but at least i'll still get to play some games.
I also no longer have access to the photo lab on campus, which means I can no longer develop prints off my regular camera. Everything I do will need to be digital, or if Jess has time, she'll develop in the lab for me.
It's worth it.
|
|
|
[12 Jul 2006|02:09pm] |
| [ |
mood |
| |
 uncomfortable |
] |
| [ |
music |
| |
the whirr of the nearby minifridge |
] |
Marco and I got into a pretty big fight last night. I let it slip that I'd missed a few medication breaks, and it escalated into yelling out on the back porch. I wasn't not taking my pills because I thought it'd be wacky fun, I've just been really busy the last few days. On both Monday and Tuesday I had to work all the way through lunch, and I can't take my meds on an empty stomach unless everyone prefers I projectile vomit across the office.
Marco admitted that most of the time he forgets that I've got manic depression. I've only ever let him see me take my meds maybe two times, and those were both when I didn't have the option of going into another room. He's angry at me for hiding it from him. Not just the taking pills, but the mood swings and all that goes along with it. He forgets that I'm bipolar because that's what I want. After the yelling stopped and we just talked I think he accepted that. I don't think he likes it that way, but it's how I need it to be.
I refuse to be a high maintenance boyfriend.
|
|
|
[07 Jul 2006|03:02pm] |
| [ |
music |
| |
Brokeback Mountain 1 (score) - Gustavo Santaolalla |
] |
This update has been long overdue. Please forgive me. I've been rather absorbed with work and with Marco.
I'm so glad that he's back home. I couldn't believe how long the week for orientation dragged on. When I picked him up we decided to stay the night, so that I wouldn't have to spend 30 straight hours in the car. Since it was the end of the month and I hadn't gotten my first paycheck from the firm, I was completely broke, but Trey let me borrow his credit card to pay for gas and for a room if we decided to stay. Trey should have been a bit more specific though, as he didn't specify which kind of hotel or motel we should stay at. So, we splurged his money and stayed at the nicest hotel in all of New Brunswick. I'm thinking around the 15th of the month when he gets his statement, he's going to want to kick my ass. XD
My boss was in a good mood all week long because her presentation last week went so well. She had to fly out to Idaho for a meeting the other day, and instead of having me stay behind and fill out invoices and send memo's etcetera she just gave me the afternoon off. The rest of the week she's just been all smiles, it's kind of weird. She's generally neurotic to the point of being overly serious.
I guess Paige took the long ass drive all the way to Denver for the sole purpose of celebrating American Independence Day. A big giant WTF to my mom whose still a big fricken CANADIAN. Perhaps that's another thing she's decided she's not since she's going through her wacko midlife crisis.
The battle with Krull? Still on. I know he tried to corner me in the laundry room the other day.
|
|
|
[29 Jun 2006|03:58pm] |
| [ |
mood |
| |
 melancholy |
] |
| [ |
music |
| |
Idina Menzel - Defying Gravity - Wicked OBCR |
] |
Well this week so far has pretty much sucked. Starting on Saturday I drove Marco all the way over to New Brunswick which is a 15 hour drive, dropped him off at his freshman orientation Sunday morning, then drove all the way back to be at work at 9 on Monday. The drive over wasn't so bad because Marco was with me, and when he was awake he was entertaining, the drive back was long and my butt hurt afterwards.
Monday and Tuesday went by quickly enough because I was really busy at work. The boss has a deadline with her biggest client on Friday, so when I wasn't helping her get things set up for that, I was rushing with her to about 10 different meetings with other clients. Wednesday I mainly just typed up memos and faxed files to the appropriate places, leaving lots of time for me to sit and just miss Marco.
I imagine friday and the drive over to pick him up will not go fast enough, as that's the way life seems to like to be.
I've got to go now, I promised Trey I'd go buy him some lint rollers if he gave me a compliment. So here I go. XD
|
|
|
[17 Jun 2006|11:07pm] |
| [ |
mood |
| |
 good |
] |
| [ |
music |
| |
Nicole Kidman - One Day I'll Fly Away [remix] |
] |
Well my first week at work went pretty well. I have a bunch of suits and everything so I look like I actually fit in among the corporate world. While I am working at Hayden's advertising firm, I'm not actually working for him. I'm the personal assistant of Caroline Bequette, one of the elite execs in the firm. While I do get her coffee in the morning, I am not her secretary so I don't sit around answering the phone for her. I type up memo's and send out files for her which isn't all that particularly interesting. What is great about my job is that I get to sit in on all her meetings and business pitches, which is definately going to be helpful when I try to do the thing on my own account. Caroline is very sarcastic, and more than a little anal retentive but so far it's been enjoyable working for her.
Marco thinks it's weird seeing me in suits. I think it's weird seeing me awake at 7 am consistently so that i'm on time to work at 9.
The greatest part of all is overhearing a lot of the secretaries and other personal assistants doing more than a little bit of gossip about Hayden. Those who aren't going on and on about how very pretty he is, are going on and on about how sad it is that he's married, and the small and misinformed amount are going on and on about how sad it is that he's gay.
I'm extremely jealous of Hayden and Jess' runaway trip to New York City. Had I known they were going more than an hour in advance, or they were going for longer than two days, I would've made her take my large suitcase, and I would have hidden myself inside.
Krull = still evil.
|
|
|
[09 Jun 2006|04:47pm] |
| [ |
mood |
| |
 bored |
] |
| [ |
music |
| |
Grounded for Life |
] |
I've been going insane all week long without a job. Marco's working a lot of shifts at the coffee shop because it's summer and he doesn't have much else to do. Jess got that job at the radio station, and her hours keep moving around so I can never depend on her being around to entertain me. And both Hayden and Trey have real jobs.
Speaking of Trey, he's evil. And now he has an evil minion. Krull the Warrior King is satan in cat's clothing.
|
|
|
[02 Jun 2006|11:38pm] |
| [ |
music |
| |
Ben Folds - The Luckiest |
] |
Well, the 29th was Jess' last day working at Hard Rock, and on the 30th I submitted my 2 weeks notice, but I didn't end up needing that, because yesterday I punched Tad, the jackass that was hassling Jess in the face. He knew that she'd quit because of him and he kept going on and on about her, calling her all these nasty things, I told him he better shut up, but he didn't listen, so I punched him right in the middle of the restaurant.
So I am now out of a job, but Hayden said he could get me a paid internship at his Advertising firm which is mad brilliant so all is well. I'll get paid less than i was as an asst. Manager, but I have money saved, and i'm definately not going to be a server for my entire life.
Yesterday Trey and I got in a full on assault wooden spoon war in the kitchen, and I totally kicked his non-existent ass at it. Being a swimmer has done nothing for that boy's "fwacking"
skills. I also found pictures of him from when he was in high school...he had this fwoppy semi curly haircut... it cracks me up, and i was interested to find out that black wasn't his natural hair color. I know he dyes it a lot...but with the regularity of the black in there, i always just assumed. Now i have things to blackmail him with. ^-^
So other than that, and bussing Marco back and forth from work to home to the hospital the only thing that has been going on is rain...lots and lots of rain...which makes me happy.
|
|
|
[28 May 2006|12:11am] |
| [ |
mood |
| |
 blank |
] |
| [ |
music |
| |
none |
] |
Seriously, what the hell? Why do things always have to stay at some constant level of crap?
Tim's in the hospital because he attempted suicide. Marco is now freaking out all about it. He's spent a lot of time at the hospital. I've spent about 20 minutes there, dropping Marco off, or going inside to find him to take him home, or to eat and when I first got their with the ambulance, this whole thing is just shitty.
I haven't told Marco that I found him, that I called 911 and rode with him to the hospital. It's just not important. My wanting him to not die doesn't mean I want to have a heart to heart or something, or that I want any congratulations for what I did. When the ambulance got to the hospital, I just climbed out and walked the 12 blocks back to the parking lot where my car was. My jeans were soaked in water and blood, I reeked of it. Thankfully, I had a gym bag in my trunk, so I put on the shorts and running shoes that were inside it. It took a long time to walk to my car, so when I finally got home it was late. I opened the front door only to be mauled by Marco running out, Ellie had just called him and he was headed to the hospital. Paige's packages are still sitting next to the door of the apartment.
I don't know how to get Marco to believe that it's not his fault.
|
|
| etcetera etcetera etcetera |
[17 May 2006|09:45pm] |
| [ |
mood |
| |
 amused |
] |
| [ |
music |
| |
Law and Order (DOINK DOINK) |
] |
YOU *C A N *O N L Y *T Y P E *T W O *W O R D S !
N O *E X P L A N A T I O N S !
Two Word Survey:
1. Yourself: ridiculously normal
2. Your car: so pretty
3. Your Hair: too long
4. Your mother: manipulative, immature
5. Your Favorite Item: musical instruments
6. Your Dream Last Night: Too Asleep
7. Your Favorite Drink: code red
8. Your Dream Home: somewhere else
9. The Room You Are In: pure comfort
10. Your Pet: not applicable
11. Your fear: cheating bastard
12. Where You Want to be in Ten Years: still alive
13. Who you hung out with last nite: Marco, Trey
14. What You're Not: stupid, cruel
15. Your Best Friend: Jess Worth-Reese
16. One of Your Wish list Items: new pants
17. Your Gender: boy
18. The Last Thing You Did: sat down
19. What You Are Wearing: black beater
20. Your Favorite Weather: winter, snow
21. Your Favorite Book: Northern Light
22. The Last Thing You Ate: Phish Food
23. Your Life: every day
24. Your Mood: always interesting
25. The last person you talked to on the phone: my boyfriend
|
|
|
[15 May 2006|12:06am] |
| [ |
mood |
| |
blah |
] |
| [ |
music |
| |
Chris Isaak - Baby Did a Bad Bad Thing |
] |
You know what is great about being absolutely batshit insane? The fact that you can have an utterly amazing week, and by the end of it you're still depressed as hell! It's awesome!
</sarcasm>
Going camping may have been the most fun I've had in my whole life. Or at least since Trey and Hayden duct taped me to a chair and then launched me off the back porch steps. When we first got there, a lot of families and hicks were out camping because it was the weekend, but by Monday afternoon they'd all left, and the only other people up at the lake were clear on the other side. That gave us lots of free space to do whatever we wanted. We went for a hike, and not even 30 minutes in Marco kept complaining how his feet hurt, i remedied it by dumping my water bottle on his head. He felt compelled to maul me after that. It was quite amusing. I also dumped him in the lake a few times. I've decided that Smores are the greatest and best thing on the whole damn planet.
A little while after getting back from camping i hit a low spot. It was like walking into a brick wall. The sun is shining, everything is going great and yet i've got this stupid rain clowd over my head. It always makes me so emotionally exhausted. On Saturday I woke up and just didn't want to move. I was emotionally exhausted as well as physically exhausted. I slept the entire day except for when I went to an appointment with Dr. Kelly to make up for the one I missed while camping. I feel somewhat better today, worked the lunch shift with Jess at Hard Rock for 4 hours, but a good lot of the day was still spent asleep.
Well, tomorrow's another day.
I kind of hope it rains.
Being sad then becomes justifiable.
|
|
|
[02 May 2006|06:21pm] |
| [ |
mood |
| |
 complacent |
] |
| [ |
music |
| |
The Goo Goo Dolls - Can't Let It Go |
] |
I mentioned a while back that I hoped things would calm down and Marco and I would just enjoy being together, and we have. So that is pretty much awesome. We got through a lot of things that we didn't think about when we first got back together.
Finals have started. I spent all last week studying like mad for them, since I had performed so crappy during most of the semester. I'm crossing my fingers for good enough grades to even out poor attendance. My french final was yesterday, so if I didn't pass it, well then... that sucks and it means i have to take the class again next year. I hate french.
To avoid my brain turning into utter mush I've been clearing and cleaning the back yard. Trimming tree branches, placing all the fallen twigs and sticks in a pile on the side of the house, painting the fence, crap like that. It's been quite warm, and i've been getting distracted. It's looking great already.
Brian came by on Sunday, and the two of us went with some of his friends for a drink and some talking. About a week after Marco and I got back together, he stopped in to get his stuff and to ask if we could still be friends, and I told him no because Marco'd said he hated him. Marco and I talked it over and he said that he would be okay with the two of us being friends. With all the crap-ola going on lately, I didn't have a chance to call him until sunday when he was heading out the door, so he invited me along. Because of finals I didn't stay long but it was good to see him.
I think I want to go on a camping trip to break open summer...
|
|
| snap out of it. |
[24 Apr 2006|10:03pm] |
| [ |
music |
| |
Frou Frou - Psychobabble |
] |
Well, things have been absolutely and positively batshit insane interesting lately.
The other day Paige dropped off a box of crap that our father had dumped on her on Easter that was filled with some of our mother's nick-nacks. She didn't have the cash to send out the medium sized, but rather having box, and since our dad is a cheap bastard it was decided that I should foot the bill for the parcel. Because that makes sense right? Don't dump it on the kid who gets nice checks from mommy and daddy every month to help pay for things, but still bother's to call and pretend to want to hang around you. Dump it on the kid who's been paying his own way through the world at the moment, only needing the cash to foot the bill for what his hockey scholarship doesn't cover at school...but who doesn't particularly like you. Eugh...anyways, I'll stop whining about it and continue on with how I did eventually send out the package, even though it took two trips and cost me over 100 bucks for that heavy sucker.
Since I'm sure everybody knows already, I ran into Tim at the post office. Or rather, he ran into me, and then began verbally attacking me. I told him that he needed to just walk away and leave me alone but he didn't. He just went on and on and then completely crossed the line. Telling me that it was only a matter of time before I decided seeing Marco every couple of weeks while he's at college wasn't enough for me, and that I'd soon have somebody else on the side. Only not in such kind words. He'd no right to say it. So, I punched him square in the jaw. Granted, I could have done something else but I didn't, and i'm sure as hell not sorry for it.
When Marco found out, he got all manner of pissed off at me, and wouldn't even talk to me for almost two days. Everything is fine now. Let's hope that it stays that way. It just seems like we can't get through a week without some major nuclear blow up. For some reason I thought it'd be so much easier than it is. And for that I am very thankful. Hopefully everything will cool down soon and we can enjoy just being.
I went and talked to Ellie today. The girl hates my guts, but I figured I should tell her, if Tim hadn't already that I was the one who punched him. I know she worries about the kid, which she really should, he's fricken messed up. So I told her about punching him and the fact that I saw track marks on his arms, and she said she'd ask him about it. She was almost civil to me for a moment there, but that was before she pointed at the "right to refuse service to anyone" sign and kicked me out of the store.
I've got to go figure out how to play another song for Jess. Thank God this is the very last one. We're cutting things awfully close with this little project of hers. It's due on friday. Next week--> Finals. YUCK.
|
|
| 50 of the MOST random questions ever... |
[20 Apr 2006|08:14pm] |
| [ |
mood |
| |
bored |
] |
| [ |
music |
| |
Frou Frou - Holding Out for a Hero |
] |
1. Where were you 4 hours ago?
Where I am now, on the end of the couch with my laptop, I have moved since then though, I just happen to be back.
2. When is the last time you filled up your gas tank?
wednesday morning
3. What is the most amount of money you spent in one store?
$400 bucks, bought my bed.
4. Is there anything pink within 10 feet of you?
The back of Trey's head, he's watching TV on the floor
5. When is the last time you went to the mall?
last saturday
6. Are you wearing socks right now?
nope
7. Do you have a car worth over $5,000?
yeah.
8. When was the last time you drove out of town?
um... whenever that was that i drove to denver to drop off my mom's crap with Brian and Trey
9. Have you been to the movies in the last 5 days?
nope...not since I had to work late and missed out
10. Are you popular?
hell no. the people i live with don't even like me all the time.
11. What was the last thing you had to drink?
chocolate milk
12. What was the last thing you mailed?
A box of crap that belonged to my mom.
13. Do you wash your car?
I haven't in a while. With the weather the way it's been, it's kind of pointless.
14. Last food you ate?
tuna cassarole
15. Where were you last week at this time?
i think I had work.
16. Have you bought any clothing items in the last week?
socks
17. What bank do you use?
wouldn't you like to know...
18. Do you own any land?
no.
19. What do you want to be when you grow up?
I don't want to grow up, Wendy!
20. Your dream vacation?
Sydney, Australia
21. Last boat ride you went on?
Paddle boat over at Wasaga Beach
22. How old are your parents?
mom is 45 and dad will be 48
23. Are you in love?
24. Do you have any single friends?
yeah
25. Last play you saw?
Wicked
26. Have you been to New York?
Yes
27. What are your plans for tonight?
homework, then sleep in the guest room
28. Last concert you went to?
Ska-fest downtown last summer
29. Next trip you are going to take?
no idea
30. Ever go to camp?
hockey camp a billion times and regular camp twice
31. Were you an honor roll student in school?
just barely.
32. What is your current GPA?
really crappy. It happens when you sleep through your classes for a month.
33. Are you wearing any perfume or cologne?
No, I already took a shower
34. Are you hungry?
no, I just ate
35. Where is your best friend located?
She's lying on the floor watching TV as well, using Trey as a pillow.
36. Do you own a cowboy hat?
no.
37. Do you have a tan?
ha ha ha, i'm so pale that i'm practically clear.
38. How old do you want to be when you have kids?
'dunno... 28? 29?
39. Do you collect anything?
fights, apparently
40. Is this quiz annoying?
vaguely
41. Last time you got pulled over?
never have been...
42. Ever been arrested?
no
43. Been to Mexico for Spring Break?
nope
44. Do you like hot sauce?
not all that much
46. Do you need to do laundry?
I already did all of mine
47. How many friends do you have on myspace?
don't have one
48. Are you someone's best friend?
Jess'
49. Are you rich?
definately not
50. When was your last paycheck?
Monday before last
|
|
|
[16 Apr 2006|11:59pm] |
| [ |
mood |
| |
calm |
] |
| [ |
music |
| |
Fionna Apple - Across the Universe |
] |
Oy, where to start, where to start?
This last week has been absolutely crazy. After Marco moved in, his parents expressed that they wanted a tour of the house and to check everything out. This is a big deal because even though both parents know that Marco is gay, Mr. Del Rossi has always been completely in the dark about the fact that we've been in a relationship for 20ish months over the course of 2 years. And while Mr. D knows that Marco is gay, he's been outright ignoring it ever since he was told. We talked it over, and Marco decided that he wanted to force him to acknowledge it, that he didn't want to say "Hey, guess what Dad, Dylan is my boyfriend! We sure fooled you!" He decided that he'd give the grand tour and we'd finish in the batcave with the big dundunDUN moment of "Viola, this is my room, and Dylan's room." So he called up his parents on Monday and invited them over for dinner on Saturday night.
On Wednesday everything turned into complete and utter crap for an 8 hour period. Marco and I got into a huge fight over my inability to say that I love him lots of stuff that really should have been talked out before we officially got back together. But after I completely broke down in front of Jess, slept for an hour or two, and then completely broke down in front of Marco everything seemed to get placed back on track.
Thursday and Friday were mostly filled with going to Maundy Thursday and Good Friday services, going to classes and going to work. I also had to practice on the guitar for a while because I promised Jess that I'd be her musician for her album production assignment.
Saturday finally came and we made sure the entire house was immaculate. We'd originally intended for us to all sit down and eat dinner first, but soon after the Del Rossi's arrived they wanted the tour. We showed them the upstairs complete with bathroom, Trey's room, guest room and Jess and Hayden's room, the main floor with the living room, dining room, kitchen and half bathroom, and then it was time to head downstairs. I was the first down the stairs followed by Marco's parents, with Marco bringing up the rear. I headed over towards the farside of the room, because I kid you not, I had the storm cellar door wide open in case I needed to escape Mr. D's fists of fury yet again.
When Marco told him that it was our room, he was confused for a minute, and then just charged up the stairs. Marco stopped him in the hallway and tried to make him listen, but he just looked right over Marco's shoulder and pointed at me and blamed me for everything. He says that I turned his son gay and that I shouldn't be allowed to play hockey because of what I am, and other senseless crap like that. He stormed out the front door and Marco followed him once more, but stopped at the top of the porch. I came up behind him and gave him a hug to comfort him, and when Mr. D glanced back to yell at Mrs. Del Rossi to hurry up he saw that I had the audacity to touch Marco and just glared before climbing into the car. Mrs. Del Rossi stopped for a second to hug Marco but at a honk from the car, she hurried down the drive. So...yeah it didn't exactly go great.
Today was spent with dyed easter eggs, going to easter mass, my being forced to work in the kitchen and then Marco and I getting in a small food fight. Paige came over and had dinner with us all then hung around for a little while before having to twitter off to the Father's house. And now, I must away.
|
|
|
[08 Apr 2006|03:40am] |
| [ |
mood |
| |
 sleepy |
] |
Well now that Mr. B, Jess' Uncle has had his way with the kitchen, I'm constantly worrying about the possibility of Trey having a spontaneous orgasm. I seriously think I saw him contemplating naming the stove.
We now have 4 toasters and 3 blenders via wedding presents, so tomorrow i agreed to tag along with Hayden and Jess to figure out what to replace those items with.
Marco's moving in has been great. It's practically a seamless transition, except for that i almost broke my pinky toe when i stubbed it into a dresser that wasn't where it used to be when heading for the bathroom. That and Marco made me buy a new comforter yesterday, he said that the Navy blue was far too dark for the batcave with it's only three small windows giving indirect light, and only wall plug in lamps with no overhead light.
Everything's been going pretty great, though Marco keeps messing with the whole "waking up together in each other's arms" with his completely out of whack sleep schedule, but I can handle that.
This afternoon kind of sucked though. I hate my job more and more each day. The only thing that keeps me sane as asst. manager is the fact that my check is now twice as big. We had a huge group of 17 people come in without calling ahead, right during our busy time, so we had to scramble to get a table for them, and of course they wanted the ticket split 6 ways, and then when splitting the ticket took longer than 2.2 seconds, they chewed out a server telling her how she didn't deserve the automatic 18% tip that was figured in with the bill. Then they started speaking in French and how half my country can speak that language (a.k.a. the bain of my existance) is completely beyond me and i was trying terribly to understand then and finally i helped get the people to shut up and pay and out the door. In a storage room somebody had knocked over a ton of plastic cups and a box of memorabilia from the gift shop and not picked them up, and a bunch were broken and stepped on, so I had to clean it up and then pull inventory over the entire room, which kept me at work a full two hours longer than I planned.
When I got home Trey and Marco had gone to go see a movie or something, I think Phoebe and Paige went with, but i'm not sure, Jess had been in the shower when they left so she didn't get the whole story either. I'm currently trying to stay up until they get home, but that's looking like it's not going to be happening as i'm falling asleep in this computer chair (without the help of meds. aha! ) so i'm going to go pass out on my no longer navy bed alone.
p.s. my head may explode due to all the cuteness around here from Hayden and Jess
Later Days campers...
|
|
|
[05 Apr 2006|02:52am] |
| [ |
mood |
| |
content |
] |
| [ |
music |
| |
KT Tunstall - Black Horse and the Cherry Tree |
] |
Trey and I have mad packing and movie skillz.
Over the course of a week we've packed up and moved every belonging of two people very important in our lives, and unpacked it, carefuly arranging it in just the way it should be.
This house is now perfect.
And since I'm so tired that I'm practically delirious, I'm going to bed.
|
|
|
[30 Mar 2006|11:26pm] |
| [ |
mood |
| |
good |
] |
For a few days I honestly couldn't tell if my meds had decided to regulate me at a constant state of good and/or happy or if they weren't working properly and I was just in a long running high swing. Either way, I was having plenty of energy to get all of the errands I was required to do as the Maid of Honor (lmao.) like picking up all the dresses and suits, double checking the caterer and florist and making sure everything that was needed made its way into the car. I was even in a good enough mood to handle the idea of spending 8 hours at a bachelorette party with a lot of Jess' friends that I don't get along with as well.
The evening started off with eating the Lasagna that Marco had brought over as a wedding gift from his mother to Jess, drinking 4 Code Red's and watching Monster's Inc. with the whole passle of people. While the great movie debate raged after movie number 1 was done, I headed downstairs in search of comfortable clothes, and ended up finding all 483 (484? I've pseudo-lost count) photographs relating to Marco in a box and couldn't stop staring at them. I couldn't figure out what I was feeling, but I knew that I was glad that Jess didn't let them just get thrown away, that she made me keep them without me even noticing.
I'm walking up the stairs and lo, and behold, there I am accidentally running Marco off the road, dropping the box in the process. I'm mumbling something and look over towards Marco just in time to see him reaching out to pull me into a kiss. I'm freaking out because the last two things in the world I wanted was to be called a rapist again, and to be the one to end the kiss.
I woke up at 2 am to the smell of salty sweat and of Marco's 40 dollar shampoo. The only thing I could even imagine doing was to pull Marco in even closer to me. Even with that, I still woke up all alone and incredibly confused.
Wednesday was very crazy but nothing went wrong. Amazingly enough, even with me trying constantly to get a conversation with Marco to figure out what the frick was going on, it was all seemless. Jess looked radiant and gorgeous in her dress, with the pink bleed on the bottom of it making a beautiful contrast to the packed snow on the ground. It was a very small service what with hardly any family being invited and I think that helped in getting everything to go easily. After Jess and Hayden danced their first dance to I'll Cover You B from Rent, she and I danced the "father/daughter dance" together to What a Wonderful World sung by Louie Armstrong. I'm basically the all purpose friend...soulmate, maid of honor, best friend, "dad" XD
After the final fairwell to the couple (they'll be back from the Honeymoon on Sunday night) I grabbed lots of the flowers to help perk up the house before going home, having given up on trying to talk to Marco. I'd resigned myself to taking my meds and going to bed early, when I walk down into my batcave from upstairs to see Marco sitting in my chair nervously. He said a lot of quick run on sentences. Things about how he's sorry. That he never should have done that. How he'd screwed things up again just when we were getting along. He wouldn't let me get a word in edgewise. I finally asked him just to shut up before kissing him and telling him it was all okay, that I wanted to be with him, but only if he wanted to be with me. He stayed.
Today was my birthday, and I basked in my only non-jess involved cuddling in the last 3 months. About noon we heard clumping footsteps coming down the stairs and then there was Brian. He looked a little thrown for a second, saw me, saw marco and then basically did the exact same thing as on Valentine's day. He said loud and clear "You are such a shit, Dylan." with the look in his eye, and the small smile trying to creep out of the corner of his mouth telling me that there was no hurt there... just understanding.
I blocked Tim from my livejournal earlier this week in a fit of annoyance and ever so slight rage, so I don't have to worry about him reading this post before Marco has a chance to let him down.
|
|
|
[27 Mar 2006|11:30pm] |
| [ |
mood |
| |
sleepy |
] |
| [ |
music |
| |
Ben Folds - Good Morning Son |
] |
The house has been turned absolutely upside-down. (am i the only one who thinks it's odd that upside-down and downside-up are the exact same thing? random, i know.) We're all rushing around trying to make sure that everything is all done for Jess' big day. Tomorrow is the rehearsal dinner and then a pseudo bachelor/bachelorette party. As mean as it sounds, at this point in time i'm kind of glad that neither Hayden nor Jess have any family who will be flying in and staying at the house with us...I don't think I could handle one more moving body inside this house. Who'd have thought this ginormous thing would ever feel too small?
Pretty much every day that I work now I end up asking myself why in the hell it is that i'm still working there. I guess the large paycheck i get at the end of every two weeks and the tips are the only thing keeping me still around. I was able to buy a Canon EOS Digital Rebel XT camera which I'd been jonesing for for about 6 or 7 months now with the extra money left over after paying the electric and phone bills. I'm very excited about that.
I think my Uni is the last on the planet to have it's spring break. Good Lord, most of the high schools are out for the year already and we're just getting our break right now. Thank God It came when it did though, I was burning out from trying to get everything resituated with all my classes, i think i'll be able to pull them all up to passing grades by the end of the semester.
I'd realized the other day that I'd gone through the past two or three days without saying a sentence longer than 5 words, and it really kind of bothered me. I didn't realize that when i made my post at 3 am that it would lead to getting a call from Marco. It was odd. It felt like old times. Like WAY old times. Like before I'd ever even asked him out old times. The way the conversation was going it felt like I was just talking to an old friend. I guess because of the little chat he's decided to come after all to Jess and Hayden's pseudo bachelor/bachelorette party which is basically going to be a glorified slumber party.
Well i'm ridiculously tired, just going to kick out the boyfriend and then i'm going to go to sleep.
|
|
| in the wee small hours of the morning... |
[26 Mar 2006|03:20am] |
| [ |
mood |
| |
 awake |
] |
| [ |
music |
| |
RENT - OBC - Without You |
] |
Well it's 3 am and I'm awake.
It's not my meds this time, I just feel like I need to talk to somebody.
Everybody in the house is already asleep and I don't dare wake them.
I don't really know what I have to talk about, but I just do.
I slept for a couple of hours and woke up thinking that I needed to.
I contemplated calling one of the suicide help lines on one of the many brochures Dr. Kelly gave me.
I don't think they'd appreciate me calling.
As I'm not suicidal.
I figured they wouldn't like me just wanting to chat.
I don't have anybody that I could call.
My Instant Messenger window is completely dead. The only one who is online, is Marco.
oh well I guess.
|
|
| navigation |
| [ |
viewing |
| |
most recent entries |
] |
| [ |
go |
| |
earlier |
] |
|
|
|
|